interwebz

Hey y'all! I'm back!

After being without internet for quite a while after the elusive and too-good-for-network-password having "Terry" moved out of my building (or so I think), my roommates and I decided to take the plunge and purchase internet for ourselves! Crazy!

And it comes with cable and home phone service because it's cheaper that way which totally makes sense.... EXCEPT IT DOESN'T AT ALL. Anyway, the self install kit arrived today and after my roommate and I figured out how to install the damn thing we were immediately sucked into two full hours of surfing the web, as it were, with a Khloe and Lamar marathon playing in the background. Only makes sense after going without internet for a couple weeks and then all of a sudden having both internet and cable. Gotta get our fill. Before I could pretty much only watch PBS cooking shows unless it was a Sunday which meant intense, focused effort was put into adjusting the antenna to watch football.

After realizing I had spent way too much time hearing about whether Lamar should go play basketball in Turkey (don't tell me you've never seen any Kardashian shows, you know what I'm talking about), I decided to go read because that would make me feel.... wholesome-r??

I'm reading Just Kids by Patti Smith right now. I mailed it to my mom for her birthday a few months ago and she gave it back to me to read because she already had a copy. So now I awkwardly have a book that says "Happy Birthday Mom! Seeya soon!" in the front. So far, it's really great. I just read the quote below that I am gonna try to remember about everytime I think something about my apartment is shitty.

After paying deposit on their new apartment:

"We had the entire second floor, with windows facing east and west, but its aggressively seedy condition was out of my range of experience. The wall were smeared with bloody and psychotic scribbling, the oven crammed with discarded syringes, and the refridgerator overrun with mold."

Just when this book had gotten me all romaticisin' about New York in the 60s.....

(BTW, Terry, if you're out there, you are amazing! I love that you didn't password protect. We all gotta share with each other in this crazy world. I would totally not password protect except that my service forces me too. And viruses and things like that. But its totally not a financial thing. Universal message of this story: Let's share, World!)

I am Shinto

I was just doing some research at work when I stumbled across these gems on Amazon.com:
'

They strike me as being really '90s for some reason. I think because they remind me of that segment from Reading Rainbow where the kids would do like a book review of one they liked. I think its funny how they don't all looks happy. I saw the Protestant one first and its all like "I am Protestant" and she just looks sorta bummed.

America

I wanna wear this outfit all the time. Too bad it is socially unacceptable and I don't own it.

Oh yeah, American Apparel, you're welcome.

I was so freakin' productive today. I am writing so many papers right now, it's awesome. And the one I just finished was about how writing so many papers its awesome. I love how I can spin these things. Writing classes is the bomb you just do whatever you want basically, 'cept its even easier 'cause your given a little boost by some sort of a prompt (ex. write a review, write about your writing experience). I saw True Grit yesterday. It was GREAT!!!! Go see it and then bitch about how Hailee Steinfeld (sp?) should've been nominated for Best Lead Actress Oscar instead of Supporting. Then write your review for Non-fiction class about it. Then write a blog post about that. I mean... that's what I did and its working out pretty well.

How I look when I feel good about life? Really I just think its funny. But not so funny that it stopped me from untagging myself on facebook.

skins

Confession time!


I started watching Skins like a week ago because all of a sudden everyone was like "Watch Skins! Watch Skins!" So I did. And now I'm sooooo into it and almost done with the second season, or should I say, "series" (crazy British people!). And its really awesome, but fucking weird, but really awesome. I think I've started cussing more because of it and wanting to say things like "bloody hell." Today I muttered "bloody hell" under my breath when I couldn't find a chart at work. I need to cut that out, its embarrassing.


My favorite character is Cassie, primarily because she can say the line "Oh. Wow. Totally. Wow. Totally. Cool. Wow." without it sounding like bad writing. How can that be said without sounding like bad writing?! Just looking at it it looks like there's no way it couldn't sound like bad writing, but she says basically that same line over and over again and it sounds right. Also, Cassie makes me wanna have buck teeth. The other day at the dentist, the dentist said something vague to the dental hygenist about me having an overbite.* Cha-ching!


*Peep the weird ass formation of that sentence: "the dentist, the dentist." We refer to the place of the dentist, the person who is a tooth professional, and the person himself as the dentist. The dentist is a place ("I went to the dentist"). The dentist is a person ("The dentist is nice.") Holy hell, now "dentist" looks weird because I've typed it so many times. Can anyone else tell I went back to school this week and am really only taking writing classes?? Speaking of which, I got an assignment from fiction class to write a one page story that involves a chicken, a car crash, and a Diana Ross song (too bad her name isn't Ciana Coss 'cause I liked the alliteration going on there). First of all: best assignment ever! Second of all: mine involves a Chinese restuarant. Oooooooh.

FSF

I HATE when I'm not in the mood to write but I have to. IT IS REALLY DUMB!

I have to write 15 pages about arrested development (or at least that's what I've decided I have to refer to it as when really what I'm trying to write about is how they're all like "partytimeexcellent" even though its super dramz and then they end up being alcoholics and crazy people) in Fitzgerald's early work and life.

From now on...

I want to title all my papers with the title was originally going to give them but then add ": The Lia Beck Story" directly after.

Back to Business

I hate to so quickly push my little political post down the confines of my blog's Internet Explorer window* but....

BRAD DRESSED UP AS TAVI FOR HALLOWEEN!!!! WHAT?!?!??!?! I have two things to say about this:
1. You know you're famous when people dress up as you for Halloween. Like, can you imagine? That's sooooo weird.
2. And that the person dressing up as you is BRAD!!!!! WHAT?!?!?!!

*Side note: Its really odd to think about things on the computer, such as webpages, having a size because its not concrete at all like a page of a book. Like, certain things are on the screen and that's it, then you scroll down and there's more. Huh? Where does it come from?? I know that this can be explained obviously, but its pretty mindblowing. It reminds of a time, I must've been about eleven, and I was at the library with a friend using the computer. She saw a sign that said that they charged $0.15 to print a page and asked me why they did that. I told her it was to cover the cost of paper and ink and she said, "What about this ink?" refering to the ink on the computer screen. "That's not ink." I don't think my explanation went much further than that. How does an eleven year old explain to another eleven year old that the text on a computer monitor isn't formed of ink but of pixels? I found it baffling that she would ask, and think, this at the time and I still do. Guess that's why it stuck with me.

Jerks

*I need to get an internship. Writing/editorial internships tend to ask for writing samples; sometimes, published writing samples. What counts as published? Print only? Internet? What about a blog? What about a facebook note? Published or not published, this internship search got me looking back at some old facebook notes I'd written and I decided to start sharing them on here. I'm big into creative non-fiction writing but just haven't done much lately-- too much else going on-- so I decided to post some of my old facebook notes on here. Don't steal my stuff! (I don't know that I actually need to say that, but just incase.) This one is called "Jerks" and was originally posted November 12, 2007.



I know I have a thing for natural lighting, but I think everyone can agree that there's something amazing about walking into a classroom in which the lights still haven't been turned on. There's always a soft blue glow from the light coming through the windows. It’s nice because it contrasts the harsh fluorescent lighting normally associated with classrooms. The feeling is particularly good if it’s a morning class. In the morning you want calm darkness because that’s what sleep is, or was before you had to get up for school. Your body knows what is coming. It knows yellow-tinted fluorescent lights are looming in the near future, but when you arrive and they’re not on its heavenly. You sit at your desk marveling at the blessing you’ve been given, knowing that all the subsequent students who file in feel the same way.

But there’s always that one kid who turns the lights on. He (or she) walks in slightly pompously giving off an I’m-ready-for-the-day vibe. He flicks the switch and at once everyone turns around to view the culprit. He doesn’t notice, or perhaps he just doesn’t care. Although, I believe it’s the former. The light switch flicker would have to be ignorant about the entire situation to have done such a thing in the first place.

I wonder about the flicker’s motives. Does he believe he’s helping out the teacher? Moving the light switch from the OFF to ON position saves the teacher about two seconds of time when he arrives. Does the flicker think this really helps? Is it worth it to have the remainder of the class mad at you? Perhaps he thinks he’s doing a favor to his classmates. Perhaps he thinks we like the lights on and enjoy having our rare minutes of quiet serenity abruptly interrupted by his flicking. Maybe he just likes the lights himself and doesn’t think about other people’s feelings because he’s an inherently selfish asshole.

Whatever his motives are, I decidedly hate light switch flickers. They have been around throughout all my years of schooling and their presence has not ceased with college. If you’re not annoyed by them then maybe you need to rethink your life next time you walk into class and feel your hand drifting towards the light switch. If you don’t know one, you are one.

The Hills

The Hills series finale was-- actually I don't know when it was, but it was recently and I watched it yesterday online. Yes, I watched The Hills online. Sometimes you're in your pajamas until 6 in the evening when you go out for $2 wine happy hour and you just have to have something to fill your day. Ahem. Well, the episode was tres dramatique (even though NOTHING happens) as per usual and it ended with Brody Jenner saying goodbye to Kristen as she "drove off" to the "airport" for "Europe." Why the sarcastic quote marks you ask? Because as Brody is watching her drive into the distance he has the backdrop of Hollywood, sign included, behind him and then! the scene is revealed to be a literal backdrop that is pulled away and he and Kristen are both on a soundstage. The classic zoom-back shot is done and instead of seeing the city like usual, its just a shot of the soundstage.

What kind of crazy self-referencial shit is this? Well, it's awesome! I've never been so proud of reality television writers. That was kind of a dick move if you think about how there are actually people that think The Hills is real. It was sort of like, "Hey viewers! No, not you guys that know what's up. The other viewers. Yeah. Um... that was all fake for the past six(?) years. Bye!" Without even going back on it a little bit by having a real zoom out shot of the city. Ballsy. I like.


Ps. What happened to Heidi and Spencer. They just straight up stopped being on the show all together...

Get Thee to the Recycling Center!

I've always been obsessed with the documentation of things. Guess that's why I collect movie ticket stubs. Not in a orderly way (I didn't say I was obsessed with order, quite the opposite), but if I see one laying around my room I won't throw it away and I have some in my desk drawer and a ton of them at my parents' hosue. I get this whole documentation thing from my dad but I don't think my problem is as bad as his. I don't even know that I would call it a problem. I like things that are concrete. I hate reading stuff of length online because I prefer to have it in my hand. New technology kind of freaks me out and I'm scared on the end of printed texts.


Maybe its as deep as all I've just said or maybe I just have a weird attachment to magazines. There is a box of them next to me staring me down and more downstairs. I should recycle all of them. I know that. Yeah there are articles and, more so, editorials that I specifically remember but they can be found online, right? Is the Vogue with Michelle Obama on the cover worth saving for historic value? It's not like I have the only copy or something. Wouldn't future children think it was awesome to look at old Vogues and Elles from years and years ago? I sure would. I don't even want kids.





I don't think I'll miss these when they're gone. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

How I Will Get an A+ on My Final 301 Paper Even Though A+ Isn't a Grade He Uses and the Paper Isn't Very Good

As long as I'm on this giving-myself-too-much-credit-for-weird-connections-that-only-I- appreciate-in-subpar-final-papers kick, I thought I'd mention what might be the best one yet. Allow me to set the scene: The paper is on how Diaz expands upon the work of Derek Walcott (specifically, the poem of Walcott's that Diaz used as an epigraph) in The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. I talk about how both writers use a lot of references to films and books and music and Spanish language, etc. in order to emphasize a search for idenity in the characters (or something like that... as I said, the paper isn't very good). But! I was listening to Vampire Weekend while writing and had the brilliant idea to title the paper "Walcott All the Way to New Jersey." Oscar Wao is set in New Jersey! Get it?! Get it?! I think I'm gonna add a footnote about it and my professor will be like, "Omg! Diaz used tons of footnotes and obscure references to things! This is so cleverly brilliant and brilliantly clever that I can overlook all the many downfalls of this paper having any clear progression! A+!"

One, Two, Three

What do these three things have in common?







My final paper for Victorian poetry class! The title "Time For 'eroes" is named after the song by the Libertines but uses the spelling of "'eroes" from Rudyard Kipling's poem "Tommy" which is the topic of my paper. I talk a lot about how the poem is still relevant today so I used lyrics from "Fortunate Son" as an epigraph and to tie it all together. My roommate makes fun of me for putting pop culture references into my papers, but I just think it makes them soooo much easier to write. Last semester I wrote a paper for a class called Early Literature Masterpieces that quoted Lady Gaga, Dolly Parton, AND Pat Benetar. That class blew so I kinda just wrote whatever I wanted, but suprisingly I still got a B on the paper. Holla!

"O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy,
go away";
But it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins," when the band
begins to play."
-"Tommy," Rudyard Kipling, 1890

"Some folks are born made to wave the flag,
Ooh, they're red, white and blue.
And when the band plays "Hail To The Chief",
Oh, they point the cannon at you"
-"Fortunate Son," Creedence Clearwater Revival, 1969

Okay. Time to go find some Kardashian's or the like to watch online. I miss having tv sometimes!

Martin's

The pharmaceutical reps bring food to my work on Thursdays. This is when I eat. I don't eat before I get there. I don't eat after as I rush to class. I eat danishes or bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits or breakfast pizza. The reps usually pick these items up at Ukrop's and cure our staff of mid-morning hunger while, simutaneously, persuading the doctors to continue to use their products. Win-win. Well, yesterday they didn't bring in any food. I was already starving when I got to work, weird considering I'm not usually hungry in the morning, and I found myself craving a slice of meat covered breakfast pizza. I don't really even like the pizza that much and I usually don't crave foods with meat. I guess it was just conditioning that made me want it so bad. My mind has an equation: 10am on Thursday = Ukrop's breakfast pizza. But, as I said, the reps didn't bring any food yesterday.

When it was time for me to leave work I really wanted food and became willing to be late for Victorian Poetry class in order to get some. I knew what it had to be, too. Breakfast pizza. The carytown Ukrop's recently switched over to being a Martin's, but Martin's continues to sell Ukrop's prepared goods. I went to Martin's.

I'd heard from other people-- people braver than I, who didn't give themselves a mourning period and starting shopping Martin's immediately, like it was normal-- that it seemed a lot cheaper, not just in cost, but that they were really pushing "great deals!" with ads and signs everywhere like a normal grocery store.

You can imagine my shock then when I walked inside and to my amazement things looked... the same. Well pretty much, first I noticed a lot of wine. They really wanted to get that front and center it seems. "Hey! You know that stuff Ukrop's didnt have? Yeah, that sinful stuff? Well... we've totally got that!" Also, the signs above the frozen food isle, signs labeled "fish sticks," "ice cream," had pictures on them! Pretty bougie. Pretty Ukropsian.

There was no breakfast pizza left. I settled for a cold slice of pepperoni and sausage for a $1.09. (Like I said, I'm not into meats, except for really fake ones that are so flavored it doesn't really taste meaty. My mind has another equation pepperoni > steak.) As I walked back to the front of the store to check out I saw a PBR display. PBR in Ukrop's! Sorry, Martin's. It was then that I came to the realization that Martin's (At least the Carytown location. I haven't seen the others and thus can pass no judgements. They could be utter hell holes and the Carytown location only kept nice for posterity's sake.) is just Ukrop's With Booze. Which, really, is a far better name for a store.

Why

Why is everything connecting to everything today?

Number 1. I had to read "Memento Mori" for film class tonight. It starts with the quote "What like a bullet can undeceive!" from the Herman Melville poem "Shiloh." I'd never even heard of this poem until English 301 today when we read it.

Number 2. I just finished "Oscar Wao" and a character says about skinny girls "Only dogs like bones." I'd never heard this until yesterday in Carribbean Lit when a character in "Krik? Krak!" said the SAME THING.

Number 3. I was just reading a blog with a post titled "Sunshine Cleaning" and I went to youtube right after to listen to music where one of the suggested videos was the trailer for the movie "Sunshine Cleaning."

What's going on?!?!? I sort of hope this continues. Also, I like this song: